Darling and I weren't planning on moving back to Austin in the first place, and turned down the original invitation to move back into the cooperative when we did decide to come back. We'd long suspected we could build a more affordable lifestyle outside the bounds of our nine-person household.
What a joke! Okay, I still think that, given the right circumstances, Darling and I could live on less money than our happy hippie family in central Austin. We have not cultivated those circumstances at all, however, and are spending significantly more on a far less satisfying lifestyle. But that's not even the point.
The point is that privacy is a poor substitute for family. Cooperation gets any job done a hell of a lot faster than self-sufficiency. After years and years of living with others, and especially after several months of traveling with a very tight group, I'm perfectly aware that my self is not sufficient. Maybe I've been handicapped by the ease of sharing a home, but I can't imagine running an efficient household with just one or two people. I certainly can't fathom raising a family alone. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed my big house in suburbia. But the luxury doesn't compensate the complications.
So we'll probably be moving back into our big peach room in the cooperative, with it's cute little shelves I put up, and the table Darling built, and the rocking chair and desk we found on the side of the road, back into the room with our own bathroom and Darling's minuscule private office...Back into the house of organic granola, fair-trade coffee, hen-fresh eggs. Eggs from the chickens I raised, from the coop I built! Beets and potatoes and garlic from our garden! Bands practicing downstairs, NPR on the radio, helping my newborn neice (due in December) learn to walk on the same tile floors I cared for Baby-O and Godson Oblio!
Not to mention the cooperative is a reasonable(ish) bike ride from the workshop, and a fifteen minute walk to the diner!
Now we just need to save up the cash for deposit and first months rent, which will be something of a stretch. But so worthwhile!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
Paying The Reaper
It's so hard lately to find time to really think about money, much less blog about it. Matters of morality, efficiency, sustainability seem to fly out the window when I'm balancing work with marriage with family with starting a business. I'm picking up shifts, driving dad to the dentist, making daily runs to the hardware store, coming home and looking at Darling with confused, tired eyes: Oh yes, you're here. Right.
At the same time, self-care forces itself into the forefront of my mind by means of absolute necessity. My twenty-eight year-old body begins to rebel in small ways. If I don't sleep, an itchiness settles into my throat that hearkens back to earlier this year, when I suddenly and inexplicably lost my voice. Whatever I'm doing at that point stops, I drop, I roll into bed. I can't afford to get that sick again. I just don't recover at the pace I once did. Somehow, weeks ago, I pulled a muscle in my left arm. It's still pulled. So there are these constant daily reminders to slow down, take it easier, stretch out my reserves...
Work is my first priority, as ever, but my physical well-being has elbowed it's way into second place. And to what effect? My emotional well-being takes a hit. Being everything to everyone is a good way to gain the exaggerated, accolade-heavy version of love I'm accustomed to. Moving Heaven and Earth to accomplish this or that goal for my friends and family and then shrugging humbly and saying, "oh, it's nothing," feeds my massive ego so much more than admitting my newly discovered physical limitations and asking to for a rain check. "Can I move the couch for you next week, since I'm working a double this weekend and I have to go to the craft fair Saturday morning?"
What's all this mean, from a financial perspective? Debt. It's all debt. I've railed against institutional credit for so long, all the while overextending myself in every other way. If money is in anyway tied to spirituality (and I'll argue both sides of that theory in my own time, thank you), It's no wonder I still carry a negative balance after all this time. And that's changing. Not because I want it to, at least not on the surface, but because I don't seem to have a choice. Breaking the pattern may be the only way to move forward, the only way to reach the next phase of my development. Or, possibly, the only way to hold onto what I have. That's the thing about credit: you have to pay for everything eventually. You have to earn more than you spend in the long run.
At the same time, self-care forces itself into the forefront of my mind by means of absolute necessity. My twenty-eight year-old body begins to rebel in small ways. If I don't sleep, an itchiness settles into my throat that hearkens back to earlier this year, when I suddenly and inexplicably lost my voice. Whatever I'm doing at that point stops, I drop, I roll into bed. I can't afford to get that sick again. I just don't recover at the pace I once did. Somehow, weeks ago, I pulled a muscle in my left arm. It's still pulled. So there are these constant daily reminders to slow down, take it easier, stretch out my reserves...
Work is my first priority, as ever, but my physical well-being has elbowed it's way into second place. And to what effect? My emotional well-being takes a hit. Being everything to everyone is a good way to gain the exaggerated, accolade-heavy version of love I'm accustomed to. Moving Heaven and Earth to accomplish this or that goal for my friends and family and then shrugging humbly and saying, "oh, it's nothing," feeds my massive ego so much more than admitting my newly discovered physical limitations and asking to for a rain check. "Can I move the couch for you next week, since I'm working a double this weekend and I have to go to the craft fair Saturday morning?"
What's all this mean, from a financial perspective? Debt. It's all debt. I've railed against institutional credit for so long, all the while overextending myself in every other way. If money is in anyway tied to spirituality (and I'll argue both sides of that theory in my own time, thank you), It's no wonder I still carry a negative balance after all this time. And that's changing. Not because I want it to, at least not on the surface, but because I don't seem to have a choice. Breaking the pattern may be the only way to move forward, the only way to reach the next phase of my development. Or, possibly, the only way to hold onto what I have. That's the thing about credit: you have to pay for everything eventually. You have to earn more than you spend in the long run.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Wow...For Real?
Once upon a time I calculated how much R and I have spent on tools, materials, fees and such for the business. Since we made our first sale in May, I'd planned to to update the numbers, but only now just got to it. For some reason I'd imagined that, having spent nearly a thousand dollars in the first couple of months getting started, we would have spent another thousand dollars in the next two months. In fact, the number has been steadily swelling in my subconscious so that even as we made more sales, and then even more, I imagined us to be falling increasingly behind...
Not so. Since the initial investment, business expenses have actually been quite modest. So much so that one more decent weekend at the market could easily push us out of the red and into the black! We could theoretically pay our investors back in full and expect the business to pull it's own weight!
What does this all mean? Well, we almost certainly need to go on another big shopping trip, because we must be running seriously low on material :) It also means I might need to start seriously considering what solvency means to me, and how I'm going to deal with success in this business.
Not so. Since the initial investment, business expenses have actually been quite modest. So much so that one more decent weekend at the market could easily push us out of the red and into the black! We could theoretically pay our investors back in full and expect the business to pull it's own weight!
What does this all mean? Well, we almost certainly need to go on another big shopping trip, because we must be running seriously low on material :) It also means I might need to start seriously considering what solvency means to me, and how I'm going to deal with success in this business.
Financial Picture, July 2013
The longer I stay away from blogging, the harder it is to get back into it. So much to say, I get overwhelmed, distracted, off-topic. Forgive my absence, and any weirdness that arises as I try and come home...
So. Let's start with a current financial picture: I'm earning cash waiting tables at a job I really, really like. I'm also working the night shift, with which I have a love/hate relationship. I'm paying rent for the first time in a long time and putting gas in the truck is pretty burdensome. Otherwise, our expenses are relatively low: Darling and I share a cell phone, utilities are covered by rent, and we're spending $50 a week on groceries. We don't eat out much at all anymore, nor do we buy alcoholic beverages. Still, we haven't made a debt payment in a while, and we probably won't this month. Darling needs new work boots, a haircut, and some licensing. Right not I'm just happy we're not spending more than we earn.
The guitar business: we attended the artisan market last weekend and it was pretty successful. I worked far too many hours that weekend, though, and pretty much crashed for the next few days. Took some serious time to contemplate exactly what I'm doing and why, and didn't come to any definite conclusions. Actually, I concluded that I'm not going to go 48+ hours without sleep again.
Having a business partner is interesting. On the one hand, there's the benefit of extra resources and having someone else hold you accountable for your choices and behavior. On the other hand, some of the risk is doubled. I know from experience how a good business idea can be a terrible business reality. Building guitars is time-consuming, expensive, exhausting, and potentially heart-breaking. I like it quite a bit regardless, but would I still want to do it if R stepped away? Could I still do it without R? It took a long time to decide the answer is "yes." I really hope it never comes to that, but I had to know that this is my dream before carrying on.
Working this out is a relief because, having come to a crossroad, I finally know which way to proceed. Darling and I will stay in Austin, and very soon we will both be working. That means savings, debt payment, dental care, and, sooner than later, a positive net worth! It means we can move back to central Austin (quite possibly into our old home at the co-op). It means the next seriously hard decision will be when to leave my job at the diner to craft full time. It means shifting my focus forward, it means tracking my progress towards the crossover point!
So. Let's start with a current financial picture: I'm earning cash waiting tables at a job I really, really like. I'm also working the night shift, with which I have a love/hate relationship. I'm paying rent for the first time in a long time and putting gas in the truck is pretty burdensome. Otherwise, our expenses are relatively low: Darling and I share a cell phone, utilities are covered by rent, and we're spending $50 a week on groceries. We don't eat out much at all anymore, nor do we buy alcoholic beverages. Still, we haven't made a debt payment in a while, and we probably won't this month. Darling needs new work boots, a haircut, and some licensing. Right not I'm just happy we're not spending more than we earn.
The guitar business: we attended the artisan market last weekend and it was pretty successful. I worked far too many hours that weekend, though, and pretty much crashed for the next few days. Took some serious time to contemplate exactly what I'm doing and why, and didn't come to any definite conclusions. Actually, I concluded that I'm not going to go 48+ hours without sleep again.
Having a business partner is interesting. On the one hand, there's the benefit of extra resources and having someone else hold you accountable for your choices and behavior. On the other hand, some of the risk is doubled. I know from experience how a good business idea can be a terrible business reality. Building guitars is time-consuming, expensive, exhausting, and potentially heart-breaking. I like it quite a bit regardless, but would I still want to do it if R stepped away? Could I still do it without R? It took a long time to decide the answer is "yes." I really hope it never comes to that, but I had to know that this is my dream before carrying on.
Working this out is a relief because, having come to a crossroad, I finally know which way to proceed. Darling and I will stay in Austin, and very soon we will both be working. That means savings, debt payment, dental care, and, sooner than later, a positive net worth! It means we can move back to central Austin (quite possibly into our old home at the co-op). It means the next seriously hard decision will be when to leave my job at the diner to craft full time. It means shifting my focus forward, it means tracking my progress towards the crossover point!
Thursday, July 4, 2013
July 2013 Net Worth
My net worth dipped to a despairing -$1,791.33! I'm bummed, but trying not to be too hard on myself.
Last month had a lot of ups and downs: we moved into a spacious and private new home located in suburbia, I'm settling into a full-time job and am just approaching my full-earning potential, our craft business is getting a fantastic reception but is a long way from solvency, and Darling accepted a fantastic job that doesn't start until "sometimes this month" (which is construction jargon for "between now and next Christmas"). Frankly, I'm amazed that my spending only outpaced my income by $6.
June taught me a lot about my boundaries, particularly my physical limitations. Coming home to Austin has been hard because there are a lot of people who seem to depend on me, and I can't come through for all of those people all of the time. I've been forced to say "no" more than once, which makes me realize that this is a viable option in less extreme cases. I might be reaching a point at which I don't feel guilty for not working every hour that I'm not working or sleeping, which will be interesting. And then I have to learn how to say to my friends and family, "no, I'm not working right now, but I also can't drop what I am doing to take care of you just this moment. Can your situation wait until tomorrow morning?" That will be a major breakthrough for me. Being in suburbia right now is a useful crutch. Being isolated helps me relax a little.
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