Emotional Overdraft

I've worked almost all day every day since coming back to Austin, but haven't had much luck in the tip-earning department. In fact, 8 hours at work today earned me nothing more than disappointment. I applied for a job at Whole Foods I don't qualify for to make myself feel better :)

Hurting like this financially is pretty devastating. It's making little pains - a disagreement with friends, usual family drama, the fact that I haven't spent time with Darling since Sunday, my nervousness over school - feel much bigger and more important than they really are. I really fear my first ever "late rent" conversation with our landlord, whom I still resent for upping our rent $40. I am trying to think proactively, and having a difficult time with it. I can take responsibility for my actions (maybe), but haven't quite mastered my emotions about them. I'm trying to keep in mind that generally, my job and lifestyle are perfectly functional and sustainable: we tripped up. I don't necessarily need to change jobs, move, drop out of school, and swear never to travel again. Because our overdraft wasn't the fault of my employer, landlord, or tuition. It was the fault of my choosing not to keep very good records or be financially responsible for a weekend.

And it was kind of worth it.

Ow Ow Ow Ow OW!

I'm Back! And I am a shell of my former self, financially speaking. The trip to Grand Isle was expensive.

Why? After all, what's a few days camping on the beach, and reserving a room in a hotel, and bringing my Mom's car so we wouldn't have to rent...and my mom...

First off, yet again procrastination cost us more than we could have imagined. Darling didn't expect the island campsites to be all booked up - primarily because we have only ever camped places that were not crowded at all - and forgot to reserve our spot! Over $100 went to two nights in a hotel. We also didn't pack much food and went on a brief spending spree on the island. By the way, Island groceries? Expensive. Like, a lot expensive. And then there was my Mom and pepsi. I did not realize before this trip that my mom drinks more pepsi than water. And has to be pepsi, in a cup, with ice. At least two every day. Often as many as four. And if she couldn't get pepsi, run for your life. She also has an apparent fear of restaurants that she battles by ordering the most expensive thing on the menu. Did I ever mention her father was a millionaire? I think Mom developed some habits growing up in country clubs that haven't yet been tempered by being poor her entire adult life. A desperate desire to meet the birthday boy's whims and sate Mom's addictions basically led me to throw money at them in a desperate attempt to buy a good holiday.

So, long story short, we over drafted. A lot. Not only did we dig ourselves over $200 in a hole, but we procured over $140 in fees. As I was holding the wallet, it was my responsibility to keep us in check. And...I didn't.

Sorry it's been so long posting, and sorry I might not have much time online for a few days as I hustle to correct my mistakes. I purchased a pretty expensive lesson this weekend!

Cultivating Proactivity

Melinda is so sweet, she sent me a copy of 7 Habits For Highly Effective People. I will be focusing on my Proactivity this month. By being proactive, rather than reactive, I can choose to respond in a positive manner to set-backs and obstacles.

For instance, when my mom called me at five this morning, I could have tensed my shoulders (inviting a midday migraine) and become frustrated, deciding to be tired for the rest of the day regardless of whether I get a few hours more rest before my best friend's birthday party. I could have chosen to be bitter and fussy all day, eager to justify my nasty mood with an account of my hideous morning. This would create an unwelcome theme at my friends party, as folks would invariably launch into their own tales of woe. "That's nothing, my mom won't even pay my rent two months in a row..." All because my mom woke me up this morning overreacting to something someone said to her.

Instead, I let my mom talk for a few hours before insisting on saying goodbye. At seven, I had time either catch up on my sleep or prepare my traditional birthday treat: Giant cinnamon bun. This takes some time since the dough has to rise, so it's actually quite convenient to find myself awake so early. I might nap once it's cooling, or just catch up on my sleep tonight before Darling and I head to the beach, which I can look forward to all day.

By making a conscious decision have a positive response to a negative situation, I increased my overall productivity. And have yummy cinnamon buns for breakfast!

Eating Home

Thinking local has me a little anxious food-wise. I'm not eating my "free" shift meal at work, as I don't even want to know where the frozen fries or even the greens have been shipped from. Some bread comes from a local bakery, a couple of beers are made in nearby breweries, but the majority of our food is from "distributors." Today I contemplated opening a packet of sugar, which claimed to be distributed from Maryland. Does sugarcane grow in Maryland? It grows right next to Texas, in Louisiana, but surely it doesn't get shipped to MD for packaging and then shipped back?
No sugar with my tea, thanks. I squeezed a lemon before wondering if that came from nearby South Texan orchards or California.

I am enjoying the results of putting a little more effort into eating morally. Fresh cut Texan watermelon with every meal. Caramelized red onions with sweet potato chips, steamed squash and fried eggplant, local honey and eggs. We're not total locavores, but we're definitely making a delicious transition.

Not Renting = Mom Love

Darling and I have borrowed many a vehicle since our marriage. In Virginia, friends and coworkers made nothing of lending us a car to do laundry, get to the Mennonite grocery store, drive to the airport in D.C., apply for farm jobs, and even take a two-week road trip. One friend even gave us a copy of the key to her van.

In Texas, everything is a little more spread out and friends seem more car-dependent. Or maybe everyone is more likely to have exactly the amount of vehicle they need, be it none at all (we're certainly not the only car-free kids in town) or a car shared between two people.

The only person we can borrow from these days is my mom, who lives in a different town and has a car-dependent lifestyle. She loaned us the car once to visit VA, staying in our home while we were gone. We intended to do the same for Darling's birthday, but life threw us a curve ball and mom is no longer interested in staying in Austin.

Solution? Rent a car - which requires sending a large amount of money to a national corporation and away from my beloved community - or...ah...huh.

Why don't we invite mom along for the trip? She needs a vacation, loves Grand Isle, adores the beach...By day the three of us can barbecue veggies and play in the surf, by night my husband and I can share a romantic campground while she enjoys an air-conditioned hotel room and cable. For less than the price of renting a car, and with the added bonus of desperately needed family time.

I offered my mom an all expenses vacation this morning and she sounds really excited. We won't know if she can come until Sunday, but I'm crossing my fingers.

Credit Untouchable Rents A Car

I woke up at 9:30 a.m. and worked the garden for three hours, mostly organizing the compost. When Darling woke up we walked to a grocery store, stopping at Enterprise Rent-A-Car on the way in the hopes of securing a reservation. The gentleman behind the counter was a bit dense, I guess, or at least unwilling to deal with the complicated matter of renting cars to untouchables who don't own credit cards. He said only four phrases, repeatedly, "You'll need a recent paycheck from somewhere you've worked over a year," "You have to be tied to a property," "You know what I'm sayin'?" and "That won't work." Seriously, he mentioned pay stubs about six times in our two-minute conversation, and said "you know what I'm sayin'" after every sentence, even though we kept repeating, "we have a pay stub on us right now," and "no, what do you mean "tied to a property?" We'll be talking to his manager tomorrow.

After carrying extremely heavy groceries home from the shop (including a watermelon, potatoes, liquid laundry detergent, and a lot of soy milk), we made a quick visit to the river for a dunk and swim. It felt so good to momentarily lose myself in the water, and contemplate the artificial caste system which our credit-based society is developing. So much is being based on credit scores, including one's ability to rent an apartment (or car), afford a home, get a job, go to school, afford insurance...Today we felt ostracized and even a little oppressed by a business that was literally telling us that our money wasn't good there. If we had a credit card we could have reserved a vehicle with little difficulty, but because we don't have one we are required to prove where we live via utility bills (delinquent notices will disqualify us), proof of current employment exceeding one year, and proof of home phone number. We will have to provide an extra $200 deposit, which is a little more than the price of the car rental itself! Documents that do not prove residency or trustworthiness include a lease, drivers license, state identification card, student ID, voter registration card, or W2s or tax returns. Why doesn't a signed current lease prove residency? "Because anyone could get on a lease, that doesn't mean they live there, you know what I'm saying?" Um, no. Why would one sign a lease to a home they do not live in?

Whereas credit cards, which are sent to people in the mail whether they want them or not, have decent credit or not, have graduated college, paid debt, or declared bankruptcy or not, automatically upgrade one to the elitist order of qualified car renters.

My feelings are hurt, but I carry on. The 20 Year Challenge will not be stalled by the likes of seedy corporate discrimination.

Last Day of School and Grocery Discovery

Today I officially finished my first semester as a drafting student, having netted eight hours and two A's since the start of May. I will start my weekly residential architectural course in about 18 days, after a best friend's birthday and a trip to the beach to celebrate my husband's birthday. In the meantime, I need to earn enough cash to pay rent, rent a car, buy books, cover bills, and buy food.

Reading Animal, Vegetable, Mineral had me wondering how to get my greedy hands on some fresh-farmed goodness. In Virginia (where my new favorite book is set, by the way), we knew many farmers. They taught at my school, visited my coffee shop ("small black coffee and a bucket of grounds, please"), and of course frequented the farmer's market itself. The farmers market was a haven of fresh fruits and veg, ethnic fare, potted plants ranging from cacti to herbs to Christmas trees depending on the month, free-range meat, and otherwise affordable, sensible goods.

Austin farmer's markets, in my experience, seem to specialize in ice cream and lemonade, clothes and knitted bags, inexplicably expensive eggs (in the middle of laying season, when there is plenty of competition), and a small amount of foodstuffs. Perhaps I am giving "city farmers" a bad rap, but these markets are simply not an affordable option for us.

CSA's, on the other hand, are extremely successful, but the waiting lists are long. I did, however, find something that looks like an alternative. This company can deliver organic, local groceries to our front door on a weekly or bi-weekly basis! I can't imagine how much easier shopping would be if it just required a few clicks of the mouse, especially since they offer an option titled "Local Box" which offers a week's worth of the freshest seasonal goodies for $35. I am so excited to try this just as soon as we get home from the beach :)

Throat Issues

I woke up Wednesday with a sore throat, by Thursday morning my head was heavy with congestion. After a day of gargling salt water, enjoying many cups of tea (got a free box of Traditional Medicinal tea with coupon), and inhaling steaming cups of diluted Olbus oil, I felt totally better. So I stopped doing those things yesterday, and today it feels I'm losing my voice. No sinus congestion and no actual pain, but my voice has a definite hoarseness. Hopefully some tea and lozenges will get me through the day at work, because we need the funds to reserve our rental car as soon as possible.

I looked up Austin Farmers' Markets yesterday. It really is fortunate to live in a city with several markets operating throughout the week! The nearest only operates on Saturdays, so I asked Darling to purchase a week's worth of groceries today. It kills me not to be there myself, but waiting for a shopping time that's convenient for both of us would mean not having food for another week.

Local vs. Organic

I checked out a copy of Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle yesterday, and it has totally changed my outlook on food and community awareness. It is the story of a family's year-long dedication to local food. They abstain from (almost) all foods not currently in season or grown nearby. They go months without fresh fruit, make their own cheese, and reveal just how desperately we need our small farmers to thrive. My very favorite aspect of this book is that it starts with a move, from one side of the country to the other. In a world where people honestly believe they have an excuse to live hours from where they work, this family recognized it is ridiculous to live hours from anything, especially their food source.

In the past, Darling and I have wondered whether organic food choices should take precedence over local "conventional" choices. Now I understand that I owe to my community to choose local apples over organic Californian apples - or, in February, no apples at all. I should also be storing seasonable foods while the getting is good. Sure, there will be strawberries available in September, but from where? Not my neighborhood.

We spend a lot of money on organics, but local food is more expensive. Why? Because many of the organics we buy are (quietly) owned by large corporations who do things like lobby for weaker standards in USDA Organic Certification. Just google "who owns _Organic Brand_" to see just how few popular organic brands aren't peddled by the same folks who bring us Lunchables, Fritos, and Kool-Aid.

These are not trustworthy companies. These are corporations that hurt our economy, agribusiness, and national image. Honest Tea was a good brand, but is it still a good brand now that it's mostly owned by Coca-Cola? I knew a missionary who lived in South Columbia. His mission there was to protect and educate civil rights workers at a Coca-Cola factory after one of them was MURDERED in the middle of the factory, in the middle of the day, among many witnesses. The executive of that particular company would have been put on trial, but was transferred to another Coca-Cola factory in another country instead. There were no legal proceedings whatsoever. So I don't drink coke, or any product produced by that murderous corporation, organic or not. This is not an unusual story. Nestle caused countless infant deaths telling African women their breast milk was inferior and leading them to use formula diluted with dirty water, the majority of chocolate companies benefit from child slave labor, and the vast majority of commercial farms still operate on the sweat and blood of desperately underpaid, mistreated, and undocumented migrant workers. Regardless of whether or not their products are branded "Organic," it is hard to believe that any international company can do more good than bad in the pursuit of profit. I no longer wish to give a large portion of my small income to multi-faced giants. I'll spend more on better quality foods from superior producers.

Which means I need to find local choices, fast. And the time to take advantage of them.

August Net Worth

I calculated my Net Worth on the first of the month, but am only now getting to publish it. It dropped $93.54 since last month. One step forward, two steps back, I guess.

Our debt is at $14,388.63, which is $118 drop from last month.

We have $612.47 in the bank, which is a $200 less than last month.

Our Total Net Worth For August is -$13,776.16. We're $805.43 away from our record high of more than -$13,000. Although I'd like to reach that number again soon, the going is slow.

Last night Darling and I set specific plans for his birthday vacation. We'll be leaving town on the 21st and coming back the 24th. We're renting a car for about $200, driving to Grand Isle, Louisiana, and setting up camp for $12/night. I can't wait to spend a few days just relaxing on the beach, and a day exploring New Orleans. We even know where we'll be having lunch: Barracks Street Cafe, which apparently serves tofu quesadillas.

Student Loan Deferment

A few days ago I received a letter from my student loan company informing me that my half-time status at ACC qualifies me for loan deferment! Taking six or more credit hours excuses me from making student loan payments :) And in the meantime, $3,841 of my debt will no longer affectively accrue interest - the federal government will kindly be picking up that tab.

The $9,761 loan will both accrue and capitalize interest. Which is kind of a nasty trick, if you think about it. That 5.25% interest would rack up fast and hard if I quit making payments, especially if I did so for the expected two years of deferment. This doesn't seem so much like a courtesy to struggling students as a little gift the loan companies give themselves. Charge interest while encouraging students to ignore the principal? Yikes. I find it especially disheartening that most students, rather than increasing their payments while at least part of their debt is excused, probably take on MORE debt to pay for classes. It's a regular Christmas in July for those folks in the education debt business.

Of course, this is actually an excellent little gift dropped in my lap, because I will so be taking advantage of this opportunity. I'll save about $20 a month that normally covers the smaller subsidized loan interest, which will now be tacked onto my unsubsidized principle. Hopefully by the time the deferment expires (as though I'm ever going to quit taking classes) the unsubsidized loan will be smaller than the subsidized loan.

One could theoretically say this is a false economy. After all, I'll only really be saving $240/year in interest, whereas school might cost me as much as $1500/year. But considering the investment in skills that can double my current wage, I doubt many people would make that argument.

The only potential problem? I need to be taking six credit hours/semester, and only had the funds to enroll in four. I need to scrape up another $100 and enroll in some 2 hour course this month. Which is not, with or without deferment, an incredibly affordable option right now...

A Great Start

I've finally caught up with my classwork, and my grades are decent overall. Over the weekend, we also caught up financially, having barely scraped the edge of not making rent last month. The past several days I have barely had a moment awake at home, much less online. I worked out our Net Worth, which is slightly lower than last month's. I'll do an official post on that soon.

I feel very confident about this month. As of next Tuesday, I will be a qualified (though not certified) drafter. At the same time I am doing pretty well in school and am looking foward to a potential promotion before the end of Summer. Not only am I doing well in school and my current employment, but today I recieved an e-mail from a woman in North Austin interested in my help creating weekly freezer meals! I haven't responded yet, as I've been in a state of shock and fear, but I will by...ah, soon. Definitely by tomorrow morning.

Hope everyone else's August started off so well!