In 2010 I...

* Decided to build a house for my mom
* Welcomed my baby niece into the world and babysat her almost every week for the entire year
* Bought into a Dental Discount Plan
* Had someone I never met mention my blog to me for the first time
* had my wisdom teeth extracted
* Baked amazing croissants
* Spent several weeks with my sister while she underwent hardcore interferon treatments
* Got a violin for my birthday
* Had a root canal
* Met Cat, the Lost Goat
* Canceled my overdraft protection
* Made cheese
* Moved a fence
* Worked on a commercial organic farm
* Learned the joys of hiring contract labor
* Wept for Grand Isle
* Made a very bad decision about 200 bales of straw
* Recieved two donations as a result of this blog
* Ate a number of meals made almost entirely of ingredients grown in my Mom's backyard
* Canned pasta sauce for the first time, using home grown tomatoes no less
* Watched a LOT of television
* Helped a friend shoot a film
* Canned whole tomatoes
* Canned pear butter from fruit off my Mom's tree
* Canned ketchup
* Learned to rent and operate heavy machinery
* Realized my husband and I have limitations...and we could get past that
* Installed a French Drain
* Invested in several tons of river rock
* Decorated our bedroom (actually, Darling installed the curtain rods and a friend loaned us the curtains, he bought the paint and another friend helped him paint the room while I was out of town. I put up some artwork someone else created :)
* Learned to make amazing delicious egg drop soup
* Withstood a lot of verbal abuse from my Mom
* Decided I'm the boss
* Was escorted by my mother off her property and had to accept, just before we would pour the footing, that we would not be finishing that job
* Learned just how wonderful my life here in Austin is
* Helped to re-landscape the co-op yard
* Re-caulked a bathroom for the first time
* Replaced a leaky faucet for the first time
* Realized how amazing sleep is
* Read The Audacity of Hope, which is amazing
* Tracked how much of my money is spent locally
* Discovered the best bra shop on the planet
* Finished watching every episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer (we've been working on this for at least two years)
* Ran a game set in a world that was totally my own invention
* Helped playtest a professional game designer's new world
* Saw Michael Franti and Spearhead in concert, the best show EVER
* Bought a Tracphone, which worked all of two days
* Discovered Capoeira, my favorite activity in the world
* Attended Shambala meditation classes
* Decided I want to be a yoga teacher
* Won the most amazingly comfortable, eco-friendly flip-flops in the world from Beth at Fake Plastic Fish
* Got to meet Beany!
* Got to meet Fred!
* Canned pickled jalapeños from the garden
* Started riding a bike to make cross-town trips
* Learned to make extra money cleaning houses
* Harvested, dried, and ground my own Thai chili flakes
* Received a lovely new lap top computer
* Received a lovely new comfortable bed
* Panicked and applied for a medical emergency credit card, for which I was denied
* Read Your Money or Your Life
* Finally got Medical Assistance to help us pay for desperately needed care

Working on the bike and wardrobe

You know how I missed over a week of bike riding due to a brake issue? Well, there was a little piece of wire that needed to be clicked into position. And that fixed the problem. Thanks to my beloved house mate Em for pointing this out and thereby saving me from horrible, horrible embarrassment moments later at the bike shop.

Today a copy of Southwest Cycling News was delivered to my workplace, a publication I desperately needed and had no idea existed. It lists dozens of bike tours around town and Texas taking place in the next four months and there are advertisements for adult bicycle safety classes! This will be precious reading and planning material in the coming days indeed.

Anyway, the moment my bike was "fixed," I rode it down to the St. Vincent Charity shop on Congress. I decided to spend whatever it took to to buy everything that fit my needs/wardrobe list. I got tired of trying on clothes surprisingly quickly, but approached the counter with enough of a load to really worry about the total sum. Was a shopping spree even this utilitarian worth breaking the bank?

I needn't have worried. Thanks to a sale, and the general low prices of that particular shop, my total bills was $16.24! For $16.24 I got two pairs of jeans, a sweater, two short-sleeved shirts, one long-sleeved cotton shirt, and a blue flat sheet for repairing an old quilt. That and I was totally shopped out for the first time in recent memory. It looks like creating a perfect wardrobe will be less expensive than I imagined.

Driving, Riding, and Authenticity

Yesterday after work I settled with my lap top in the den, propped my feet on the heater, and finished reading the archives of Beany's Brown Girl In The Lane. This blog has almost single-handedly inspired my attempts at daily bike riding (which sadly have been put off since we haven't been able to figure out that brake issue from last week). I've been so absorbed in her older posts that I barely noticed her shout-out to The Challenge last week, and then took a while to really consider her response to a comment I left on her most recent post.

Beany is wary of getting into cars at all and wanted to make a New Year's Resolution not to accept rides any more. But like so many of us, she can't bring herself to offend well-meaning friends when offered a ride somewhere to hang out. The she feels like a push-over when she climbs into yet another steel coffin.

I suggested we join forces and agree to go 100% ride free for all of 2011. Beany's response:

I'm up for a joint challenge! But I've already started mind reading and predicting the future and dreading facing the sad faces (sometimes some friends want to give me rides just to spend time with me and talk which I also like but I also am scared of being in an automobile and trying to have a conversation like everything is normal when I'm thinking, "I'm GONNA DIE!!!"

I can definitely relate. A few weeks ago when my stepmother was helping me apply for MAP and getting me all sorts of important appointments and meetings, I spent several hours in a car with her over the course of days running to and from North Austin. By evening I was desperate to climb onto a nice safe bus, crack open a book, crank up my MP3 player, and relax until safely deposited at my door stop. But my stepmother acted like I was trying to break into Alcatraz in the nude. I barely convince her to let me take the bus home, but she insisted on driving me to the stop a half-mile away from her house and waiting for the bus with me, in the running car, as though expecting a rapist to leap into our midst at any second.

My stepmother was being sweet and considerate. And that's only one of many recent examples of how the amazing people surrounding me are constantly trying to make my life better.

Jerks.

I know what it's like to feel like a pushover because I am The Pushover. For as long as I can remember I have been "mind reading and predicting the future" in order to gauge how my words or actions might hurt others. Desperate to please, but guarded against the inevitable failure to do so, I am the perfect waitress. Coworkers love me because I can not say "no," house mates trust me to over-commit, and I basically go through life walking on eggshells.

Think I'm exaggerating? I made gravy on Christmas for about a dozen meat eaters because no one else "felt like it." Gravy made out of turkey fat. I've been a vegetarian for five years, but I made the freaking gravy because everyone who wasn't me or my husband insisted you can't have Christmas without lard and flour blended with milk.

I'm not annoyed with my friends and family for failing to meet me halfway. Many of them strongly believe that the bus system is dangerous, bicyclists are risk-seeking renegades, meat provides essential nutrients impossible to get from any other food, and that any differing opinions are the result of a "phase." Their opinions are valid, well-thought out, and backed by personal experience and cultural norms. It must be frustrating for them not to be able to relate to my path, especially since I don't talk about it much.

Whenever the most obvious points of my alternative lifestyle are introduced in a conversation, my first defense is always financial. Vegetarianism is cheap, cars are expensive, co-ops are incredibly affordable, cell-phones are pricey and unnecessary for my job, so on and so forth. Rarely do I announce that cooperative living is the most socially fulfilling and environmentally friendly lifestyle available to Western man. Never have I decried meat as murder, unnecessary suffering caused by insufficient need. I don't even allude to war, torture, pollution, dependency, or laziness when explaining my aversion to cars, much less the fact that I simply don't trust any human in the world to get me safely to my destination in a hunk of steel travelling 70 mph among dozens of other accident-prone humans.

One of my many resolutions this year is to become more assertive and authentic, less afraid of offending my adult friends and family. If I want them to understand, it's time to share. Darling and I don't live the way we do out of poverty, but for our love of untold freedom! Our lives are rich in experience and adventure, whether we're lost in the streets of Paris or bickering on the bike paths of Austin. My loved ones need to know that.

How does one become more assertive and authentic by a measurable standard? Well, I could put my foot down and refuse to get in a car in 2012. Much more complicated than simply not driving, much more likely to merit rolled eyes and frustrated sighs and yes, disappointment. I will be forced to explain myself, make my argument for a better world with fewer cars and highways. I will need to be more organized as well, break a couple of habits (requesting rides when running late, for instance). And I will also have to make concessions and compromise: my best friend's baby is due in a couple of months, will I be able to get to and from the hospital on the big day?

2011 was awesome, I learned so much about myself! 2012 might be the time to celebrate and share, perfect and polish. Hopefully I will do more than just be a stubborn pain in the butt :)

Wardrobe List

I've never had a complete, comfortable wardrobe. As a child, I cut the cuffs on my shirts and refused to wear jeans, wondering why clothing had to be so uncomfortable. As a teen I finally understood that the hand-me-downs from my cousin never actually fit. I was short and chubby, she was tall and skinny. Learning to find - and wear - clothes that fit was an ongoing challenge. On the bright side, I still eagerly accept friends' discarded clothing, so the experience wasn't too scarring.

In my family, if you weren't scraping by you were spoiled. School shopping ensured that each child had enough shirts to get them through until laundry day, and two pairs of pants so you'd have one to wear while the other was washing. My Mom didn't sew, patch, or darn, but she did encourage us mightily to continue wearing every garment until it was no more, and nothing ever got thrown away. My little sister had a knee-length purple dress, which later became a short sleeveless summer dress, and eventually evolved into a tank top, without a single alteration beyond cutting off the sleeves.

I never quite grew out of these habits. My wardrobe has always mirrored my current work uniform, with some jeans thrown in. Thus the two pairs of jeans, one sweater, and a handful of shirts. To hide my lack of variety, I generally stick to the same colors and outfit: I wear a black shit and blue jeans almost every single day. My hair evolves at a rapid, steady pace to keep things interesting.

This year that is going to change. I am going to create a Wardrobe List similar to the Pantry Lists at the beginning of cookbooks. I will purchase everything on the list, maybe with some surplus, maintain each item, and eventually replace it. Then I will feel comfortable and attractive all of the time and be a more pleasant person.

Here is my list and notes:

* Underwear (12) Obviously. I want to say "cute" underwear, but it would provide a false impression of my real life wardrobe.

* Bras (7) The only place to buy bras in Austin, in my opinion, is Sew Sisters on East 3rd. Go there right now.

* Socks (7) I have a grudge against buying socks. Cute socks, like brand name jeans, are often a trick. Either absurdly expensive (organic wool, hand-knitted), or made to last two or three wearings, cute socks generally fail me within a month or two. This is probably because I walk so much. My Mom buys me cute socks a couple of times a year, they last about three months on average. I'll find something good quality and durable and stock up.

* Glasses (?) I'd like to have a back-up pair, and I'd like some with tinted lenses.

* Shirts...

- 5 basic t-shirts

- 5 nice button-up shirts with short sleeves

- 3 long-sleeved shirts with buttons

- 3 basic long-sleeved shirts

- 3 sweaters

* Pants...

- 5 pairs of blue jeans

- 3 pairs of tan slacks (jeans to slacks ratio will change depending on employment)

- 2 pairs of nice black pants

- yoga pants

- running shorts

* Shoes...

- nice simple heels for dressing up

- good walking and jogging shoes

- flip flops

- work/hiking boots

* Etc...

- Coat, scarf, hoodie, warm hat, summer hat

A Christmas Miracle

Look everyone! I got a soapbox for Christmas!

I'm a little younger than some of my readers. At 25 I don't have a whole lot of worldly wisdom to bestow. But I experienced something this Christmas that a LOT of families could benefit from. If you are recently divorced with young children, I would not be surprised if the following situation is too far-fetched or painful to imagine. If you were neglected by your parents, homeless before you finished high school, and still can't quite forgive those jerks who left you high and dry when you needed them most, I won't blame you for scoffing at this post. I've been there.

But please, for the sake of your children, parents, and siblings, read this post and file it away, mentally, under the someday-if-only section of your brain.

I come from what used to be called a broken home. "Broken" doesn't even begin to cover the series of love affairs, marriages, and divorces that have resulted in a miasma of brothers and sister, half-brothers, step-sisters, ex-step-grandmothers, technical step-nieces, brothers' sisters we've never met, and cousins we've forgotten. I come from a multiple-fracture home.

The 7 or 8 adults who produced my siblings and myself over a 20+ year span seemed to do so without putting a lot of thought into, say, where the kids should go for Christmas. Amazingly, not every child could be at all seven or eight places at once, no matter how much each individual parents sacrificed or how hard they struggled to raise us all properly. Almost every year has been a guilt trip as we struggle to choose who to appease and who to offend, and rarely do my siblings get to see each other for the holidays, much less our aunts and uncles.

This year my stepmother did something radically different and new. She invited her mother, her daughters and their significant others, her first ex-husband, her second ex-husband who is also my father, my brother and his wife, her parents and grandfather, and my mother for Christmas dinner. In other words, my stepmother threw open her doors and invited not just her family, but her childrens' family. Did she do this because she wanted to sit at a table and break bread with two ex-husbands at once under her mother's judgmental gaze? No. She did this because she wanted the grandchildren at her house for Christmas. She was willing to open her house to everyone if it meant winning over the two babies, the first babies in the family in 21 years. And she got her wish.

It was a lovely dinner, a wonderful Christmas. I hadn't seen one of my stepsisters in a decade, even though we are about the same age and loved each other as children. Everyone present got to cuddle and hug and swing the babies to their hearts content. There were no fights, meltdowns, or emergencies.

My Mom originally accepted, and later declined, the invitation. She decided that she would not go to Austin for the holidays under any circumstances. For months she tried to guilt and bribe my brother into taking his baby to her house, hours away from Austin and the rest of the family. Having spent last Christmas, and then most of the Summer, at her house, Darling and I agreed to be with my Dad this year. Needless to say, there was absolutely nothing we could do to make Mom appreciate this. She is furious at all of her kids and only answered the phone long enough to hang up on me.

Raising this family took a village. A very diverse, foul-mouthed, mentally ill village. The fact is, a lot of the villagers can't even stand each other, but they love all of their children, and all of the grandchildren. We don't have to be nice to eachother year round. We don't have to forget, or even forgive, the past. Because the babies, the next generation? They are what matter now, so much more than our grudges and emotional scars. And their parents need all the help and support available. Even the stepgrandmothers, the ex-stepgrandmothers, our half-brother's sister's adopted grandfather is going to get face time with the baby if he is willing to make himself accessible.

I am so grateful my stepmother to have made this effort, to have hosted such a large event. I am so thankful that my father sucked it up and ate dinner with his ex-wife's ex-husband. And I can understand that my Mother did not want to be in that position, that she can't accept that she is sharing my niece with three other grandmothers. I hope she can get past that one day, and that maybe, just maybe, this weird group of people can grow into a cohesive family.

ToChristmas

A little over a month ago, feeling quite down on myself, I went into a nearby coffee shop. There happened to be a sign on the door advertising for baristas, which I couldn't help but ask about, and a few days later the job was mine.

I immediately regretted this thoughtless series of events and tried to quit, but was persuaded to stay on one day a week. After a few weeks I discovered that my other employer had overstaffed and my hours made a steep downturn, and even later the boss told us he would be closing for the last two weeks of the year! Thank goodness that I have this new job to fall back on and help make ends meet, especially as medical bills unexpectedly doubled our expenses!

Today my new boss gave me a holiday card, and inside was a $25 gift card! I can't tell you how awesome this is, it reaches new pinnacles of great. Do you know what this gift card will buy? I almost hate to tell you that it will buy our favorite holiday meal: TOFURKEY. And now you are thinking, what is up with these tofreaks? By now are they just made out of vital wheat gluten and nutritional yeast flakes?

The thing about tofurkey is...well, we don't eat real turkey, or duck, or delicious ham. This is only an issue when eating massive feasts with meat eaters, especially with my family who will have one of each animal on the table. And everyone in the family will look at my 140 lb, 6' husband, and give me That Look. Vegetarians know The Look, especially, no doubt, vegetarian women married to skinny vegetarian men. Never mind that he will have finished two plates of food before most people get started on their first course, will have a third plate of food and then gorge himself on every dessert not containing gelatin. Never mind that the Thanksgiving before last he stuffed himself so full of pie that he passed out on the table. If we don't have a sufficiently impressive looking entrée to enjoy, I will receive warning lectures from untold numbers of ex-hippies and worse, ex-vegetarians, about how this is all good and fine for us, but what about our future children. If vegetarians can even conceive...

So, yes, for the second time we will have been narrowly saved from such an experience with a surprise show of kindness!

Weekly Update

This was a thought process that I awoke to almost every day this week, and which became a sort of involuntary mantra:

What day is it? Am I sure? What day was yesterday, what did I do? Okay, so what else do I have to do today? What am I forgetting? What do I have to do tomorrow?

This isn't because I was busy holiday shopping, writing cards, or decorating, but because almost every day I worked two shifts at a variety of jobs. Mornings might be spent at the restaurant or cleaning a house, evenings spent at the cafe.

Sunday Darling and I had our first bike collision on a narrow bridge. We were riding single file when he almost went over the edge. I stopped when he yelled, but Darling - still wobbling - couldn't avoid crashing into me. Fortunately neither of us went over the side onto the rocky creek bed below. The friends we were visiting gave us a ride home since I was still limping. We had to take the front wheel off my borrowed bike to fit it in the car, and it hasn't worked since. There is something wrong with the brake. I know this is simply fixed, and have done it before, but can't remember the exact process.

After weeks of working constantly and barely spending, my resolve started to crack on Saturday night. I had a glass of wine after work, nursing it for an hour and enjoying every second of being still. Sunday, right after our bike crash, Darling and I allowed ourselves a couple of cans of Arizona Tea. Monday we walked down to see the Zilker Park "tree," which is one of my favorite holiday traditions. We enjoyed some expensive funnel cake, which is one of Darling's favorite traditions.

Yesterday I had a day off work and celebrated with a serious spending spree. On my way to the bank after picking up a paycheck, I stopped into South Austin People for shampoo. I saw the perfect little present for my Mom: a little Austin-themed sampler box including "Berry Garcia" and Barton Springs scented-bars for $20. My mom loves those soaps and buys them every time she comes to Austin. I couldn't resist buying a candy-cane soap for myself, and finally splurged on a soap dish for the bathtub. A few minutes later I was in La Resistencia, a great political book store, and bought the latest Slingshot Planner. I spent $2 on a bus pass to get downtown rather than wrestle with my bike brakes. Later that evening a friend came over for some very low-key holiday festivities, and introduced me to Eggnog with rum. I've had eggnog before and thought it was awful. It's actually quite amazing with Sailor Jerry, and the organic eggnog has a much more pleasant flavor than the chemical concoctions I've tasted before. Darling, who is not a fan of dairy, went to Whole Foods and purchased a bottle of Mead and some vegan marshmallows for roasting.

A handful of us stayed up late watching one of my favorite movies: A Christmas Story, and then hanging around the fire pit until two in the morning. Five hours later I was up and gathering cleaning supplies for a bimonthly four-hour gig. I came home to a sad new chore. One of my house mates, with whom we have lived for over a year and a half, moved home to India today. I had agreed to clean up his room and find new homes for many of his possessions, in return for a small fee and his (very comfortable) bed. It is a heartbreaking task, because we love him very much and I can't imagine our home without him. Sweeping out his remaining clutter and airing him out of our lives is not something I'm looking forward to.

Hungry, exhausted, and sad, I went to Darling and demanded Mexican food, tacos, time to sit and drink Margaritas and hurt. Instead my loving husband put an end on our daily spending, made lunch and put me to bed. I woke up five hours later, feeling much better about the state of the world, and made a quiche for dinner. I'm so relieved we didn't eat out! Having tallied up the money earned today, it looks like we finally caught up with this month's rent and bills. January's rent might be late as well, but if we knuckle down and just keep up this pace, we might actually catch up by February.

A Change In Outlook

Reading Your Money Or Your Life has totally changed my outlook on future plans and current employment. See, for the past few years life has been something of a financial balancing act: I tried my best to find the best paying, most flexible, stress-free job that reflected my personal values. These priorities shifted in the wind: flexibility was vital when I committed to babysitting my niece once a week and cared for my sister while she was undergoing her treatment, low stress was my focus after this hectic Summer, and every time our dental needs go from bad to worse (earlier this year, when I had the root canal, and earlier this month when Darling's molar broke), maximum earnings suddenly take center stage.

The ultimate result has been an inconsistent income, which I'm finding to be less beneficial than a consistently low income. There are times of flood and famine, and we act accordingly, never developing a real plan on how we can achieve permanent independence. Because what are the chances of that happening any time soon?

I decided a long time ago that if I have to work, I want the flexibility and change, the inconsistencies and even the insecurity. Given the choice between doing almost anything from 9 - 5, Monday through Friday, or working whenever I feel like it...well, I'll take the freedom, thank you very much. Regardless of income.

For the first time, however, it occurs to me that maybe in a few years I won't have to work. If Darling and I maintain our current standard of living, and I got a semi-decently paid job with, say, the state, we could probably be debt-free in a year and a half. If I buckled down and saved for another year or so, we would have six months expenses saved. Easily.

I've known this for a while. I played with the figures and discounted the results because to achieve this goal would mean a cap on our standard of living. Darling and I wouldn't be able to travel, or move. I wouldn't be able to take classes. If this seems petty, don't forget that Darling and I don't own cars or cell phones, that we share our groceries with eight other people, that we don't have pets, and we only buy books used with holiday gift cards. We're not frivolous. Travelling is our passion. I honestly can't imagine abstaining for a full year, much less two or three.

But after tracking my progress for this long, I'm able to see how short a year is. 2010 has barely started, yet Solstice is around the corner. For the first time in my life two years sounds like the perfect amount of time to settle down, break out the Atlas, and plan the best trip ever. A trip defined by the fact that we will be, for the first time ever, totally free.

First Bike Experiences

I rode my bike to a doctor appointment on Tuesday. This is notable for two reasons: it was my first medical checkup in years, and also it was the first time I've ridden a bike somewhere new on a schedule.

Much earlier in the year I was given permission to borrow my housemate's bike to get to work in the evenings because my employers worried I might get mugged walking home from the restaurant. More recently I experimented making longer trips, mostly riding to North Austin to hang out with friends or check on my Stepmom. Every ride has felt like a Revelation. I can travel so far in so little time, and the scenery is unbelievable!

Monday I rode to my eye doctor appointment at the TSO I've been patronizing for years, usually on foot. I arrived at the appointment on time, but without the key to my bike lock. Fortunately the nice receptionists let me park in their lobby. Riding home, in the dark, with dilated pupils, was not fun. Probably more fun than it would have been at noon in the Summer, but car headlights blinded me well enough to complain.

The day of my doctor visit I was still nervous about reaching a new destination within a time limit. When my stepmom drove me to the clinic make the appointment in the first place the location seemed like a million miles - or at least a highway - out of my reach. When I woke up early Tuesday morning to experience a rare chill in the dry air, hopping on a bike was the last thing I felt like doing. Using Google Maps for bike directions, I worried about crossing the highway.

My primary motivation was financial: our medical costs this month surpassed $800. Darling and I owe the bank nearly $300, we're that much behind in rent, and bills need to be paid. We set aside a $10 bill to co-pay for this appointment. There was no bus money.

I gave myself an hour and forty-five minutes to reach my destination. I got lost, which is to be expected, but still arrived with forty-five minutes to spare. I felt so GREAT after my bike ride that I wanted to apologize to the doctor for wasting her time. To make amends I let her talk me into accepting a whooping cough vaccine, which is also somehow a tetanus shot, which I've been meaning to get anyway (the tetanus shot, not whooping cough). She scheduled me for a ladies appointment, which was my primary reason for going to the clinic in the first place. It was all quite wonderful.

Riding home was more of an issue. Oh, I huffed and puffed. Crossing the highway was more difficult. I got off the bike and rested more than once, desperately wished I had a bus pass, and walked my bike up the final (very steep) hill to my house. I went straight to sleep when I got home, woke up to watch a few episodes of King Of The Hill, and then went back to sleep. I'm hoping the exhaustion was a side-effect of the vaccine, but I did ride my bike two hours (the clinic is less than five miles away, by the way, but keep in mind that I got lost and travelled extra miles and also I never claimed not to be a huge wuss).

When I woke up, I told Darling I wanted to ride every single day. As usual, he took that as a challenge and has been since riding every single day. Jerk. I, on the other hand, have been walking to and from workplaces because I still really like walking and my jobs (including the houses I clean) are all within a fifteen minute stroll from my house. Riding the bike would cut my commute unbearably short, and on days I work doubles that may be all the "me" time I can expect!

Bangs of Various Sorts

Today I had an interview with a professional HR representative/family friend. He gave me oodles of good advice and I'm actually looking forward to filling out job applications again.

I've been feeling way frumpy lately. I have one pair of jeans acceptable to wear to work, and that is only because the single hole is very tiny and somewhere none of my (male) employers have had the nerve to point out to me. Let's just say that you can see both London and France. Do they have that rhyme in England? Or New Zealand? I wonder what naughty things you are thinking about my pants, or if you are just absolutely horrified, trying to imagine what might be seen through the holes in a woman's jeans that one would see "London" and "France."

Was there ever an Old Zealand, Lizzie?

Anyways, yes, frump. Not helped by the fact that we didn't buy clothing during No Spend month, and for the first time ever ended No Spend Month without a surplus, and then spent $600 on oral surgery so that we are exactly that much money in the red, which means No Spend Month, like this run-on sentence, has been extended by several weeks and into the foreseeable future.

The frump is also not helped by the fact that it is actually quite cold here in Austin and I have only one sweater (to match my one pair of jeans).

I did not want to meet the HR man who will change my life - let's call him Captain HR - looking or feeling frumpy. And when all else fails, I change my hair. I don't know how this habit developed, I don't even know how to braid hair, but somehow this stuff on my head is steadily evolving so that people assume that my bad hair days are now some sort of misguided fashion statement. Which is a good thing, because people respect even misguided fashionistas more than lazy slobs who make up words.

So I emotionally blackmailed my best friend to cut my hair after her baby shower, because my appearance in the coming months should be her top priority. Bless her heart, she has given me the best free hair cut she has ever given me, and I just feel so cute and chic.

Then, after my interview today I went to an optometrist appointment. Last week one of my contacts exploded and convinced me I had pink eye. Fortunately, I was able to beg a free pair of contacts off the nice people at Texas State Optical and regained my vision. Every year I switch between glasses and contacts to give my eyes a break, and I'm always disappointed in my small choice of frames due to my budget and limiting prescription. I always have to ask if they have a separate "affordable" selection (usually the frames covered by Medicaid are set aside, so you have to ask about them). Today, however, the nice woman behind the counter took one look at me, reached into the "affordable" box, and pulled out the cutest little frames. I almost always purchase thick black frames, but normally these have to be ginormous and cover my entire face to handle my prescription. But somehow my prescription getting worse means I need smaller frames - presumably because the glass lens has gotten so thick that the bridge of my nose might just collapse from the weight.

So come Saturday I will be donning new cute little glasses and sporting my sweet new haircut and feeling all sorts of better about myself. Which is the good news. The bad news is that today cost me $224. Which brings our medical costs in the past two weeks to over $800. But fear not: Captain HR has convinced me that I could get a particular job by following his advice, a single job that will pay substantially more than I earn working for 3+ companies. So my goal is to apply for that tomorrow and be hired in the next few weeks so that I start the New Year with a bang. As well as bangs, and a nice collection of sweaters and pants to round things out.

Precious, Precious Time

Oh my goodness, nine days since my last post! What have I been doing?

Not paying rent, that's for darn sure, but I have made a lot of progress.

Obviously I'm working like crazy. Thursday was a typical day: I cleaned a house from 8:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., then cleaned up before showing up at the cafe to work from 12:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. More exciting was Wednesday: up early for an appointment at the MAP office at nine a.m., waitressing at the restaurant from 11:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., and then closing the cafe!

Weekends are mostly a thing of the past. I've been working at least one shift per day, usually two, with errands in between. There have been notable exceptions to this schedule: yesterday, for instance, was spent at my best friend's baby shower, last week was a good friends going away party. For both of these events I was obliged to contribute baked goods: banana-butterscotch cupcakes for the first, three pumpkin pies from scratch (as in, starting with a pumpkin, not a can) for the latter. I also knocked out a pecan pie for a local environmental lobbying event.

So I've been busy, but not actually overwhelmed (I say now. Had I published a post, say, Tuesday night, my style would be a little more panic-stricken). My primary regret has been not having a spare moment to be on the computer even to check my e-mail, much less blog.

Darling and I had a really mild anniversary celebration on the fourth. He spent most of the day in bed recovering from oral surgery while I roasted, skinned, and pureed the aforementioned pumpkin. Normally we celebrate with a Mexican Dinner out, but financially and physically we just weren't up for that.

My MAP meeting was a success and we now have access to health care, which is so crazy amazing. Darling has already had one doctor appointment and solved the mystery of his really scary symptom I don't think I ever mentioned here: one morning several weeks ago, Darling woke up with a headache and a bleeding ear. We were all sorts of anxious about that, and he has since suffered mild hearing loss. It's a real relief knowing that he is simply one of many victims of Austin allergies, and his sinuses had become so congested that his eardrum ruptured. I have a doctor appointment for myself on Tuesday morning. We're most excited about dental appointments, but there are only three clinics we can go to and it might take awhile before we can wrangle an appointment.

Today I "accidentally" came to work a few hours early, and am now enjoying the coffee-shop atmosphere I normally enjoy from the other side of the counter. Time to catch up on some blogs :)

No New Job, Lottsa Old Jobs

I played phone tag with that office for the past couple of days. This is a version of phone tag in which the office would call once, and I would call back a dozen times. I am officially giving it a rest. But, I have a lead on another great job, and enough work to keep me busy 24/7, so all is not lost. Thanks to everyone about all the great tips and advice, especially Debbie M. who left me a great tutorial on office attire. I might print it out and take it shopping :)

Right now I only have one eye, because it is just that kind of day/week. I need to make an optometrist appointment. But first I need to pay the $576.41 we've racked up in dental bills in the past 48 hours. I'm incredibly thankful to have understanding houesmates who won't freak out and charge me absurd late fees if we can't write a check in time. On Tuesday my stepmother has promised to take me to take me to the MAP office and get us access to the care we need. I don't know how she is so sure of her capabilities, since Darling and I have both tried and failed, but she has worked in government beauracracy and has experience in such things. In fact, I will let it slip that she is also my new great job "lead," and thinks she can get me a state job. Fingers crossed.

So, the state of affairs is that we're a little behind financially: this month we need to cover those dentist bills, get me an optometrist appointment and a new pair of glasses, and set aside the $159.50 for Darling's tuition payment. On top of the "regular" expenses. But the cafe owner has informed me that he'll be upgrading me to full-time employee for the month, I'll make up for Darling's lost wages by cleaning houses this month, and by this time next week we might be able to afford the medical assistance we need. So it all balances out, and there's no reason to think that I won't start the new year with a shiny boring sitting down and typing job.

December 2010 Net Worth

I tallied up my net worth on the first of the month before heading off to work, but didn't have time to actually write a post. Or sit down at the computer for a number of days, or really reflect on our no spend month.

The first was a Wednesday, so I opened the restaurant and closed the cafe. Thursday morning I woke up earlier than usual and cleaned a house, all by myself, for the first time. I earned a big pile of money for my efforts and really hope the owners were pleased. Then I worked a mid-shift at the cafe and was so unbelievably tired afterwards that I just sort of crashed. Today I just have to get through the lunch shift at the restaurant and I'll have the afternoon to myself...well, and some data entry and other odd tasks.

I've been arranging for this employment surplus for some time, and I'm glad to have it because the restaurant is unexpectedly closing for over a week at the end of the month. So if I didn't have the cafe job, there would be no rent money, much less Christmas cash or anything like that.

On top of everything else, Darling's tooth pain turned into an emergency and I made him a dental appointment yesterday. This cost us $88 for the appointment, which netted him an appointment with a surgeon, and $22 for antibiotics. Darling will be seeing the specialist in a couple of hours, which will cost us a couple of hundred dollars. We have the cash, in a proverbial envelope marked "rent," so this month we will have a lot of catching up to do.

However, a lot of that will affect the January Net Worth. As for this month, we have the following:

$1,602.11 in assets

$11,799.61 in debt

Net Worth: 10,197.50, a drop of $163.47.

I am not happy to see the drop, but I am not devastated either. There are hard months sometimes, and easier months, and better years. I can't wait to be in a better spot financially, but I'm even more impatient to have our medical needs sorted out.