April 2011 Net Worth

March ROCKED our Net Worth! Not having anything planned for our tax refund was amazing: most of it went straight to debt. It felt like we spent like crazy all month, and when I do our monthly tabulation later we'll see how our expenses stacked compared to January and February. Despite having bought shiny new phones, renting a cabin on the river for my birthday, buying more wine at once than ever before, getting Darling new glasses, and straight up screwing myself out of over $200 (I'll talk about that later), our assets still increased by 156.87 to $3,068.80!!!

Assets, Schmassets. Who cares? Debt payment was my focus for March. And oh, how I focused. I focused $1,293.63 right off my debt! I finally finished paying off that lingering family debt and the rest came off my student loans. My student loans have slid below the $10,000 mark!

This gives Darling and me my highest net worth ever: -$6,794.43! Just in time for my birthday, and just in time for the anniversary of this blog :)

The first strawberry of the season in our garden

7 Deadly Sins: Greed

My Top Seven Worldly Desires:

1. A bike. And since this is supposed to be a sin, let's go ahead and say a brand new bike set up, including lights, panniers, a mileage doohickey, basket, bags, and lock. In various shades of black, please. I have no idea what brand or style.

2. A good bag. I haven't carried a purse since college, and don't want to start. But I would like something that would comfortably pack my laptop, phone, a journal. one or two library books, a couple of water bottles, a couple of good-sized snacks, a sweater, and my planner...without being bulky or uncomfortable on long bike trips.

3. A piece of property in Virginia. Not necessarily a house, and not necessarily a survivalist getaway. But I would like somewhere in the mountains to pitch a tent and be close to my friends and family once or twice a year.

This photo was taken in the area of Virginia I'd like my property.

4. A really comfortable bed. I'd like a big cushy mattress, heavy down blankets, several big pillows, and silky soft sheets, please.

5. Actually...since this is a sin and everything...let's throw a yurt on that Virginia property. A really nice studio-apartment style thing, with a hot water system for a shower and dishes, a wood stove for baking and cooking, and plenty of space for my big comfy bed.

6. A small blue bio-diesel truck. This is actually a complete fantasy: there are no small diesel trucks, their engines are large by necesity. But I see this truck in my minds eye, and it is so pleasantly sweet, that I'm listing it here anyway.

7. Shelving. Everywhere I ever live, but particularly in my current bedroom. Darling and I own lots of books, among other thing that could be better arranged, and bookshelves just take up too much space. This could actually be solved pretty simply, we just need to put aside a weekend to tackle this project.

Day Off

Last night Darling talked to a colleague and forgot to pass on the important message to me that my shift was changing from a mid to an opening. We stayed up late enjoying stove-top popcorn and episodes of The Goode Family, which is pretty much the best thing produced by American television since Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I slept until around 11 am, roused by a call from a less-than-happy manager wondering why the store was still locked. So glad that from now on people will have my cell phone to contact me directly. Besides a trip to the bank and an hour spent renewing my TABC online, I've pretty much enjoyed the accidental day off. Last week was so hectic, and I'm not looking forward to more of the same. In reflection, March has been a bizarre month. Having that tax refund in a savings account spurred an unexpected spending spree that I really look forward to documenting in a few days: eye exams, new phone plans, wardrobe updates, liscense renewals...two big parties and preparation for a third in less than two weeks! In the meantime, my employment has been so weirdly fluid: one manager almost didn't believe me when I pointed out she'd only scheduled me to work one day last week, the other manager is trying to cover a week's worth of shifts with two or three part-time employees...I'm really looking forward to things calming down in the Spring.

Fund-Raising Party and New Phones

Jellies! Size 8!!! Free.

Yesterday my house hosted a massive fund-raising event which started with a garage sale at dawn, evolved into an early lunch and open house, and ended with one of the coolest parties I've ever attended. Our property was like South Austin concentrate. During the day there was acupuncture and hula-hooping in the yard as we enjoyed fresh baked bread and cheese from the farmer's market. Come evening a fire was lit, a keg of homebrew beer was tapped, and live music was played in the garden and in the den. The party was made up of green architects, physicists, college professors, massage therapists, musicians, artists, poets, dancers, circus performers, glass blowers, programmers, wait staff, and canvassers. Local celebrities mingled with California transplants. Old hippies with silver hair recounted the Austin of days past, but for once had a hard time decrying what was "lost," as they were surrounded by friends exchanging heirloom tomato seedlings and kombucha scobies, writing songs, and quietly debating politics around the fire pit.

Flats of veggie seedling we sold at the garage sale

In other news: Darling and I purchased Verizon Droids. I highly doubt this was a cheap option, even though the phones were free with a two year contract. It might have not been the most socially sound option...though I'm really glad we didn't get stuck with AT&T. But oh man, do I love these phones.

I hate to say it, really I do. But they are so freaking cool it's unbelievable. I can't get over it. We can check our e-mail, the weather, call friends and family, AND TAKE PICTURES. I can probably do something with music, also, and I can check out Youtube videos of baby animals whenever I want to. It's like magic.

Birthday Bash

Developing my cycling ability is a big goal for me this year. My plan is to start seriously touring this year, hopefully fitting in a weekend trip to San Antonio or The Brazos Valley before winter.

Early this month we rode out of Austin almost by accident, and I still haven't totally recovered. We rode twenty miles that day, which is not insanely impressive unless you consider that January first I couldn't manage twenty miles a week.

My birthday is a little over two weeks away, though, and I've really wanted to cycle to a destination, most likely the lake, spend the weekend, and ride back. I figured a twenty mile trip should do it. Because Darling and I haven't camped in years, don't own a tent or other gear, and aren't really set up to haul any, I decided we should aim for a furnished cabin for our first overnight trip.

Darling was in charge of finding such a cabin, and found a real beauty...roughly forty miles away, 13 miles north of Leander. Because the spot was perfect, the amenities awesome, and the price was right, he researched our transportation options. Lo and behold; the Austin metro can take us to Leander in a couple of hours and we can bike from there. Since my birthday is on a Saturday, we'll spend that day making the trip and should arrive just in time to take a dip in the river (or shower in the cabin) and enjoy a bottle of wine. Saturday we're hosting an all-day barbecue party at the cabin, and friends and family will be bringing food and beverages and charcoal. Sunday we'll have plenty of time to bike back to Leander and have lunch at the Kerby Lane Cafe before hopping back on the bus home.

The best part is that we've paid for the cabin and, besides a couple of bottles of wine, $4 to cover bus tickets, and money for lunch on Sunday, this awesome birthday plan is covered. Nothing to do now but make sure people will be able to find the place and remember the tofu hot dogs :)

Work and Sloth

Today Bo and I did some work around the house. There's a dilapidated sort of ex-shed outside that looks pretty awful and has become a catch-all for tools and housekeeping supplies and big pieces of recyclable materials. Since this is right next to the main entrance of our house we've all grown pretty sick of the view. Our plan is to transform it into a cozy outdoor reading/coffee nook, complete with plenty of potted plants, a table and seating, and trellised walls for flowering vines.

We decided to start by leveling and installing a sort of floor, which meant creating an edge where sloping, tightly packed soil gave way to our sidewalk. Our first thought was to use cinder blocks, but that created an unnecessarily large and sudden step and also involved careful digging to make them all fit together at a uniform height. It quickly became obvious that we should use rocks instead, especially since we already use many in our landscaping and it had a much more smooth and organic feel.

Since rocks (which we gather for free), are used in our garden to produce walkways, raised beds, and small walls, we keep them next to the compost bin. The compost bin is about forty feet from where we working, so the first job was to move several heavy stones across that distance. We used a wheelbarrow for one or two trips, but the tire was flat and we couldn't take it the entire distance due to a split-level area spanned by stairs. When we had about a dozen rocks, each weighing at least ten pounds, We attempted the difficult job of piecing them together.

It soon became apparent that we needed larger, flatter stones. Two were in the garden, weighing well over fifty pounds each. After a little hunting we eventually dug up two that were in the side yard, one of which was easily pried up with a crowbar, the other halfway buried under ground. We had to take a break after transporting each of these monoliths, then undertook the massive task of placing, and, to my personal horror, rearranging the stones until they came together perfectly.

The next step was to find some free sand with which to level the small area. We found an advertisement on craigslist and will make the pick up on Friday. On the sand we will place stone tile if we can find some for free or perhaps some old, treated wood "flooring" I have in the garage.

This project is one of many to be tackled this week. Tomorrow Darling and I are going to dust and wash all the windows in the house, and Friday before and after picking up sand I've got a lot of baking to do for a big house party on Saturday!

In the meantime, lets talk about sloth, as it's my fourth post for My Money, My Life's 7 Deadly Sins meme.

Seven Things I Neglect To Do:

1. Respond to e-mails, phone messages, comments, or pretty much anything that doesn't involve face-to-face interactions. And I'm sorry, and I'm trying to get better about it. There's something about checking phone messages that just freaks me out. I do really enjoy writing letters, however.

2. Run errands. So there's something of an explanation behind this: since Darling and I don't have a car, we tend to arrange our lives around the bus system and regular weekly outings. Upon moving to Austin, we picked an apartment on the 3 route. The 3 took us to our bank, the grocery store, my friends' house, and the library, pretty much in that order. We never had to walk more than a block for a single errand. Since moving twice, however, the 3 is no longer convenient to us, and neither are most of those locations. And the co-op is located in such a way that if I need to go to the optometrist, the drug store, return a video, return a library book, and run to the bank, I don't have time to do more than one or two of those errands if I also have to work that day. So I basically just don't run errands anymore. Fortunately my life is set up so that I very rarely ever have to.

3. Housekeeping. Darling cleans the bathroom, makes the bed, does laundry, and all that jazz. Even when he attends school and works, I tend not to do these things.

4. Girly maintenance stuff. My daily hygiene routine is a shower with soap and shampoo, flossing and brushing a few times, and dressing in something clean, generally the first pair of jeans and shirt I see in my drawer. I never wonder if something matches. Every once in a while I use eyeliner. I do use my hippie deodorant crystal, and I shave as needed. I brush my hair most of the time. I've purchased some scents because I'm jealous of women who smell good and Darling likes it. I'm far too lazy to do more.

5. Shopping. I used to shop for recreation, but got out of the habit early in my marriage. Now I actually dislike shopping at all, for anyone, which actually quite annoys me. It's not a financial thing, it's that I'm not big on receiving gifts myself. Everything in the store, no matter how glitzy or utilitarian or cute, strikes me as a burden to be passed on to a friend or loved one, something that has to be stored and maintained and packed when they move...Lately I give all my girl friends gift certificates for manicures.

6. Cycling for recreation. This may seem strange, as I've cycled for 81 days in a row now. But truth be told, I never hop on the saddle for anything but utilitarian purposes, I never just go out to enjoy the gorgeous spring weather. Realizing this has revealed a lot to me about my tendency to exercise (or not).

7. Hunt for better jobs. Which anyone who reads this blog is well aware of :)

Day Three: Wrath

Earlier this week I made an early payment of $162.50 to my loan company. Only one more to go this month!

Unfortunately I didn't check my math and over-drafted my account. Which is really, really annoying because I had the money and just haven't made my way to the bank. What's equally annoying is that the payment went through at all: I opted out of overdraft protection months ago! The payment should have been denied, which would have been unfortunate and might have incurred fees through my student loan company, but at least I'd know my bank was playing by the rules.

Speaking of annoyance, today's sin is wrath. This meme comes from Your Money Your Life.

Seven things that piss me off:

1. Blond women in SUVs talking on cell phones or texting. I also have rage towards folks in SUVs in general, or anyone playing on a phone and driving at all, but this stereotypical group of people gain my deepest level of hatred.

2. The question "are you going to college?" while I am working. I understand that most people think they are making conversation, but the implication changes at a workplace. Why not just ask, "so, what makes you a valid human being?" No. I do not go to college. I am a waitress, and I'm sick of the "oh" that follows my answer. And many people ask this question with truly condescending intent, such as the guy who would tip me, week after week, with the phrase "put it in your college fund."

3. Littering.

4. People who try and carry on a conversation while texting.

5. Impatience. If there is anything that makes having to wait go from annoying to totally unbearable - whether it's for a late bus, lunch at a busy diner, or in line at the grocery store - it's that jerk next to you who is vocally outraged and petulant. If you aren't mature enough to let pedestrians cross the street before turning right on red, wait 45 seconds for a barista to get you coffee you couldn't bother making at home, or be polite to a bank teller during the Friday lunch rush, you are not mature enough to drive, drink coffee, or handle money.

6. People who leave gum places that are not the trash can. It's amazing how many people think it is okay to leave their bubble gum on plates or tables at restaurants.

7. People who make vague, sweeping, negative remarks about humanity "People are dumb," "People will buy/eat/destroy anything," "No one cares about..." I've never met an individual who wasn't worthwhile and capable of learning and making an intelligent argument for his or her actions and beliefs given the opportunity. I won't take it to the extreme that some do, and wouldn't even go so far as to suggest that all people are ultimately "good," but I defy anyone who writes off our entire species as worthless or evil.

Day Two: Envy

I had such a great day!

I spent the day in a day in the kitchen for the first time in ages. I made whole wheat croissants from scratch as well as a honey whole wheat loaf which has got to be the best (and most finicky) bread I've ever made. I also stretched first thing, and it looks like I won't need to work this evening. For breakfast I made a smoothie with a banana, frozen strawberries, oj, yogurt, and a handful of spinach. At lunch time I showed Em how to make nori rolls.

There's nothing like a perfect day to think about the things one lacks and covets, though, is there? Onward with My Money My Life's Seven Deadly Sins!

Today's sin is Envy, seven things I lack and covet:

1. Blond hair. Vain, eh? I covet blond hair not only because it is beautiful and my own hair is a boring, dark brown that perfectly matches my mother's unless I keep it short, but because the most of the women I think are drop dead gorgeous are blond. And, in case this revelation hasn't made you hate me yet, those women include...pretty much in this order of beauty: Marylin Monroe, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Madonna, and Lady Gaga.

I didn't experiment with bleaching my hair until a couple of years ago. I quit because it's bad for the planet, bad for my health, and, most important, bad for my stylist who got pregnant ten months ago. But I miss my blond hair so much, and lemon juice is not doing the trick!

2. Flat abs and toned arms. I don't mind my weight, mostly because after that period of time that I worked out five days a week for five months straight I actually gained weight and looked fab. But I've always felt stressed about my upper arms.

3. Confirmed mental health. This is a weird one, but because of my family's history of mental illness I've never felt very comfortable with my own mind. I definitely see things differently than many folks, and react differently and often can't relate at all with the people around me. The fact is, I don't know if I'm bipolar or not, I don't know if the emotions I feel are always valid or if my reactions are based on the same reality everyone else is experiencing. When I'm sad, I don't know if I'm depressed, when I'm happy I don't know if I'm manic. And even though I'm fine now, or at least I think I'm fine, I don't know if I'll be fine tomorrow. My brother was 28 when he had his breakdown, and NO ONE picked up on any of the warning signs.

4. Comfort behind the wheel. This is a really new one, because until this year I felt like a very competent driver. In only a few months, however, I've discovered that my own competence does very little to protect me out on the road...and also, I might not be so competent as I think, because everyone thinks they are a better than average driver. As of last night's minor accident, I don't know if I'll ever be able to road trip again.

5. A stronger literary voice. I've felt almost crippled by this for a long time.

6. A college degree. Any degree, I couldn't care less.

7. Debt freedom. I wasn't going to put this here, but it's true. I want to be debt free so bad that it hurts, and it's one of the few things in life I could neither achieve within a reasonable amount of time or walk away from. And the debt keeps me from pursuing so many other things I want.

8th Time In A Car This Year...

...And I was totally in my first fender bender ever.

I stopped at a red light. I had already honked my car repeatedly at someone who had very practically merged into me. And yet the woman behind me drove right into my housemate Bo's car.

Not that I can blame her, having already spent over two hours suffering the worse traffic I'd ever been trapped in: downtown Austin during South By Southwest. If the house pantry hadn't been absolutely empty, I would never have ventured out to grocery shop.

Thank God Bo's car was just slightly scratched, nothing a coat of paint won't set right. The other woman's car showed even less damage. We exchanged information, I'm writing Bo a check to take to her mechanic...I really hope this is resolved as easily as it should be.

7 Deadly Sins, Day One

My Money, My Life has this meme, which I discovered from Serendipity. How could I resist?

Day 1-Pride. Seven great things about yourself.

1. I am quick-witted. Many people confuse this for intelligence, and those people are not as quick-witted as me. Math makes me cry, but I do constantly notice things that other people miss and am rarely surprised by "unexpected" outcomes in social situations. I always have a comeback.

2. I'm monotone. Think MTV's Daria. This has totally saved my butt because, being quick-witted and unintelligent, my mouth moves faster than my brain. I will be standing in a group of people and will hear someone say something incredibly clever and horribly inappropriate and...oh crap, that was me. But half the time my tone of voice disguises my intent to the point that people have no idea if they've been insulted or complimented.

3. My heritage. I am from Texas. I am third generation Texan. I am very practically a third generation Austinite. There are only about seven of us in existence, and two live in California.

4. My skin. I don't put anything on my face except the same bar soap I use on the rest of my body. I'm not quite certain what it is about their faces many women trying to fix with make-up, but mine is freaking perfect, freckles and all.

5. My hourglass figure. I have a real-life, honest-to-God, hour-glass figure. This is the result not of having the tiniest waste in the world, but the biggest breasts and hips of anyone with my frame. I realize that the small boy and/or creepy skeletal hips and shoulder blades is in for girls right now, but fashion has never made much sense to me.

6. I'm immune to fashion. Totally, 100% could.not.care.less. One time my girlfriends and I thought it would be a laugh to wander around the drag dressed like well-to-do business me. It was amazing to me how many college chicks in fluorescent baggy shirts over jeggings turned to stare at us.

7. I have the best friends in the entire world. I don't know what these people are thinking, wasting their valuable time on me. It can't possibly be my boobs or nose. Everywhere I go I find the greatest people in the world to hang out with. My only regret is that they live all over the world.

Join the fun! Here are the questions.
Day 1 - Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
Day 3 - Wrath. Seven things that piss you off.
Day 4 - Sloth. Seven things you neglect to do.
Day 5 - Greed. Seven worldly material desires.
Day 6 - Gluttony. Seven guilty pleasures.
Day 7 - Lust. Seven love secrets.

Capoeira Lesson

I think it was last October that I opened a copy of The Chronicle after work, scanned the events calendar, and suddenly found myself racing up the stairs. Shoes. Keys. A handful of cash. Then I was banging on SK's door and begging for a ride to East Austin.

I arrived at my first Capoeira Angola class still wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt just baggy enough to tuck in. I entered a small building between a barber shop and a convenience store where about a dozen men were playing a variety of strange instruments and singing in Portuguese. If you asked me to list the skills I don't have, singing, maintaining a beat of any variety with any instrument, and dancing would be very high on that list. I have no concept of how to do any of those things. I was the only woman and one of a few white people. My hair was blue.

I knew I belonged when a man approached, handed me an instrument, and asked if I was a vegetarian.

What? "Um, yes," I asked.

He indicated my Veggie Heaven t-shirt, "Me too. Most of us are vegans, actually."

Of course.

I'd already sought out meditation, practiced yoga, attended church once or twice, and otherwise searched for something to fill the hole in my life left by the bitter disappointments of the previous Summer. I honestly can't say what it was I saw in the Chronicle that spurred an instant, desperate panic: now! I have to go now! I attended for about five weeks straight, taking Darling on the last week. He fell in love with the dance right along with me. And at ten dollars a class, or sixty dollars a month for eight classes, there aren't many better deals in town.

Then one evening Darling and I arrived at the building and no one was there. Darkness. Because it's in a really shady part of town, we hurried anxiously back to the bus stop. The next Sunday we rode our bikes for a day time class...and they were busy filming some sort of video.

The next week Darling left his job, which took getting used to. I got a second job and lost my evenings. Darling's dental emergency hit us hard...and several months passed. I began to question the wisdom of paying the $80 a month weekly classes would cost us, even if I could get off work and had any energy in the evenings, and if I wanted to keep venturing into a sketchy neighborhood...

In the meantime, I also stopped visiting the Shambhala mediation center, even though Darling has developed his own daily practice. I didn't protest when my manager scheduled me for every single Sunday, leaving me no chance of going to church with my Godson. I quit stretching in the morning. My sleep patterns fell completely out of whack. I've taken a severe emotional downturn, despite a diet heavy on seasonal veggies and daily bike rides. For every "free" way of spending my time I found to replace my capoeira, from volunteering to donation yoga classes, I found a dozen excuses to sleep in and stare at the computer instead.

Yesterday it struck me that capoeira made me very, very happy. I was developing new and exciting relationships, getting challenged on almost every physical level (from shaking a tambourine in time to walking on my hands), and the spiritual aspect of the dance filled me with hope. How is that not worth ten dollars a week? I can't wait to attend a class tomorrow!

Debt freedom is worth sacrifice on many levels. Long-term financial awareness will inevitably lead to changes in your diet, socialization, travel, and entertainment choices. This is often the result of learning of self-denial. No, you can't keep going though the drive though and paying $2+ for morning coffee. No, you can't go to the movies every Friday, and no, you can't drive across town to hang out with friends at the mall every weekend. But most of these sacrifices come with a major benefit. I don't think many people regret the money-saving decisions to learn to cook and bake from scratch, wake up early enough in the morning to enjoy home-brewed coffee or tea, or share time with friends over board games or walks in the park.

Every once in a while, though, expensive habits and hobbies are actually worthwhile, sometimes there is not an appropriate cheaper alternative. For some of us it's crafts, which offer a creative and sometimes social outlet that makes up for the price of organic wool, photography components, or boxes of scrap-booking materials. Others simply "need" their cars, expensive gas and all, because there's just not enough time in a week to see everyone they love via public transportation. Many musicians spend more money touring than they earn, and many students could do just as well career-wise settling for a bachelors rather than a masters or even doctorate. Some things we do out of love, to maintain that sacred spark that, once lit, makes life really hard to live without. And sometimes it costs even more than $10 a week.

General Update

The Job Hunt: I put the job hunt on hold after missing a third call from my employer of choice. I applied for about seven jobs with this company, and a couople of days after missing each call the online status report shows one of those jobs being offered to someone else. There's never a message and a return call takes me directly to a machine that does not allow me to leave messages. So, the good news is I'm getting calls. The bad news is so are enough people vying for jobs that the company only offers one call.

Thus the decision to get a cell phone.

The Cell Phone: Having applied and been denied for a cell phone, I have asked Darling to take over this project. Then I spent all of our money on debt.

Health and Dental: After jumping through a million hoops to get financial assistance for medical care, we made an appointment with one of three dentists who accept our insurance. We had to wait three months, but we were looking forward to our appointments on Tuesday. Then on Friday we got a call saying the hygeinist was sick and our appointments had to be rescheduled. They had one appointment Monday (today), and the next appointment would be in May. I couldn't get out of my Monday shift at work, so Darling took that appointment. I do have a ladies appointment this Thursday to look forward to, however.

Resolutions: My knees have hurt since our trek out of town last week, so I've been easy on myself so far as cycling goes. I'm still riding every single day (73 days now), but I've just put on a mile a day this week.

I've been in a car seven times. Recently a boss had an emergency at the cafe and I ended up needing to accept a ride from her. Last week my Mom came into town and I had to give her a ride to her hotel. I accepted a ride home from the hospital after Raja gave birth to Oblio rather than ride my bike across the city at midnight, and then accepted another ride most of the way home from the hospital the next day when I misjudged my timing and couldn't otherwise get to work on time. And I went grocery shopping for the house twice.

I'm vegan on the days I don't think about it. This isn't hard. Sometimes I try and tell myself that dairy is very healthy and it might be a bad idea to bar it from my diet, but then I remind myself that the only time I actually consume dairy is in the form of butter, ice cream, and half-and-half in my coffee. I will say that I'm still putting yogurt in my smoothies, however, and don't intend to stop until I live with more people who eat soy yogurt, because I can't justify just purchasing the tiny containers for myself.

I'm proud of my dedication to keeping track of every penny earned and spent, and will post more on that later. I really need to move onto the next Your Money Or Your Life Step, which involves creating a large wall chart to track progress. Something about that makes me nervous. Actually, I don't feel great about my most recent step, which involves really thinking about personal principles and life goals and such. Need to really work on all that...

7/72

I decided to go ahead and make my seventh payment of $162.50 today instead of Friday. It drives me crazy waiting 4-5 days to see the balance drop, and to have incurred $5 in interest over the weekend by the time the payment goes through. Had I fifty dollars more in the bank I would have finished up for the month altogether. In fact, I might go ahead and do so later this week rather than waiting for next Friday simply so I can quit thinking about it.

What Darling Does For A Living

I think Darling might be the least understood aspect of my lifestyle, at least so far as the blogosphere goes. Our relationship is not traditional by any stretch of the imagination. I was nineteen when we married, a fact that now boggles even my own imagination, especially since he is that much older than myself.

Darling is extremely likable. Intelligent and well-read. He can quote entire episodes of Monty Python, discuss each American presidency in detail, recite most of The Hitchhikers Guide to The Universe, or discuss which leader of which third-world country has done what to affect the value of someone's currency. He knows the best times to call Saudi Arabia if you want to catch someone before they leave their office, which super heroes are Marvel and which are DC and the general histories and happenings of both universes, how to build a computer, and how to give one hell of a foot massage.

Those who know us personally consider us the model couple. We can barely go a month without a friend quietly confiding in us that they consider our relationship to be absolutely ideal. My married brothers and sister ask us what our secret is. My thrice-divorced parents congratulate me on finding the perfect mate.

People who don't know Darling, however, are confused by his employment and income history. While a number of the homesteading and sustainability blogs I read advocate the single income household, there seems to be the understanding that a husband should financially support his wife. Men, after all, can enter the lucrative and homestead-friendly careers of construction and carpentry, mechanics and the military, with far greater ease than most women. In the meantime, ladies can do the tough and very underpaid work of childbearing and housekeeping.

The fact that Darling and I don't have children and share the housekeeping duties with three men and four women only muddles the matter. The fact that I like to work a whole lot, and Darling has very strict preferences when it comes to earning money, gives a false impression of the support systems in this marriage. If Darling isn't out earning a living, or at least changing diapers, what the heck is he doing?

He's actually worked for the majority of our marriage, earning money building websites and doing tech support, landscaping, canvassing for environmental causes, and working kitchens. I'm definitely the breadwinner, however, and Darling becomes very dissatisfied very quickly with paid employment. Because I'm able to support us - and strongly believe in the merits of a single-income household - Darling spends most of his time pursuing unpaid endeavors.

He's an excellent house keeper, much better than myself at caring for and repairing clothing. He darns socks and mends sheets I'd just as soon toss in the trashcan. He's an excellent cook and does most of our personal housekeeping, such as cleaning our bathroom and making the bed.

He takes a great deal of responsibility within our housing cooperative. His current favorite project is re-wiring the house with an electrician friend of his from college. The co-op buildings were constructed in the thirties, and aside for some piecemeal work done here and there, not much has been updated. We're a little tired of living in a fire hazard, so the house has been collecting quotes from electricians for years. Thanks to Darling and his friend, we're finally getting the work done at half the cost of the lowest estimate.

If rewiring the house wasn't enough, Darling is also in the middle of re-engineering our legal standing as a corporation. The first year he was president of the board the co-op had to focus on damage control: our bylaws were in shambles and the only thing that was keeping the organization from liquidating was the worrisome fact that there would be hundreds of thousands of dollars dispensed, according to Texas Business Organization Code, among the previous five years of residents of the house. Even the three members of the house who would qualify for a large share of that money were horrified at the thought, and the founders of the co-op were reasonably suspicious of this legal ramification which was very much not what they had in mind when creating the company. Every action residents of the house took was under intense scrutiny, critique, and suspicion. Many people were afraid to hire a lawyer to clear up the misunderstandings and confusions, certain that any legal action would immediately escalate into lawsuits.

Instead, Darling and the rest of the board took firm and gentle action and spent countless hours sorting through a legal mess fifteen years in the making. A year later the house was able to hire a lawyer with the founders' blessing (more or less), and Darling was re-elected president of the board that is only months away from totally resolving dozens of issues that brought a thirty-year-old cooperative to the brink of a heartbreaking demise. This. was. not. easy. He spends hours a week communicating with the lawyer, digging through records, fine-tuning and amending paperwork, and trying to explain to everyone what's going on and why.

On top of being president of the board, legal liaison, and electrician's apprentice, Darling has also been volunteering two or three days a week with a non-profit company providing assistance to Austin's large population of people who are mentally ill, homeless, HIV positive, or all three. Darling has always experienced intense compassion for those with mental illness and is very happy being involved with that community again. Two days a week he offers phone support in a nearby office, and on Thursdays or Fridays he is on call for garden assistance. His hope is to eventually be put on the payroll.

I, on the other hand, work. I wait tables for South Austin's hippie elite, serving coffee to men and women who have nothing to do in the middle of a Monday afternoon than surf facebook and sip espresso. No doubt these men and women have decent jobs, no doubt they have earned their double soy lattes, but I doubt very many of them have devoted themselves to the good of Austin as my Darling has.

If Darling worked we would be debt free much sooner. We could afford property faster, adopt a child more easily. Instead, I support him and his endeavors. I encourage him to follow his heart, and he does the same for me. He has made me the center of his world, and works very hard to keep it as pleasant a world as possible.

I do not mind if Darling never gets a job. I want him at home and in the community. I want him developing skills and relationships that are outside the sphere of steady wages and income. I want to follow his example and learn to find worth beyond my paycheck, to embrace days that lack structure and authority, to give without taking. That's what my Darling does for a living.

6/72

Yesterday I made another payment of $162.50. Only sixty-six more to go.

Today I took cash to the bank. Then I came home and tried to blog for twelve hours.

Mostly Unsuccessfully.

Paying debt is boring.

Going Cellular

I really, really enjoy not owning a cell phone. Cultivating a lifestyle that does not require constant, instant, or even regular communication has been incredibly rewarding. I could rhapsodize endlessly about the benefits and freedom of demanding one-on-one interactions with my friends and family, but that would depress me. Because last week I decided to get a cell phone.

Not just a single phone for Darling and myself to share, and certainly not one of those pay-as-you go doohickeys I've wasted money on in the past. We're going to get two cell phones and a family plan.

A variety of lifestyle factors, both within and outside my sphere of control, have led me to come to this difficult and painful decision. The first was the increasing difficulty I've had communicating with management and coworkers at both my workplaces. The "party line" phones at my current and previous homes have confused people for years and almost no one leaves a message on the machine. But lately people give up on contacting me without even calling: they only want to communicate by text. Recently I've had issues with people who don't answer their phones at all and only ever read their screens.

Human Resource Departments can't seem to be bothered leaving messages either. It's driving me crazy how often I come home to see the number of somewhere I've applied on the caller I.D., but there's no message and no way to call back.

These obstacles have been in place for years, of course, and they're steadily getting worse as the technology breech between myself and my peers widens. But it was the most basic, ancient argument that finally convinced me that Darling and I need to get a phone:

What if you or your husband are in an accident?

It's very difficult to get stranded in the middle of nowhere without a car. Oh, I've done it more than once, but it wasn't easy and there was always a pay phone nearby. But as Darling and I skirted the country roads south of Austin last weekend, our path lit by the headlights of speeding cars, it occurred to me that our situation could get really bad really quickly. And there wasn't a pay phone for miles.

The final encouragement was my Mom's decision to reclaim her phone bill. That frees up about eighty dollars a month, which will free up plenty of money in our budget for a reasonable family plan.

I'm going all the way with this because in the past Darling and I have tried to compromise by sharing a cheap, practically disposable phone and it was more effort than it was worth. I didn't want to be my husband's secretary and take all his calls for him, especially while I was at work. But he wouldn't bother carrying or answering the phone himself on his days holding it. So we're each going to have one, purchase the most affordable plan, and get in the habit of actually carrying and answering them.

No Credit? Bad Credit.

I applied for a phone plan and got denied.

It never even occurred to me that one could get denied from a cell phone plan. This hit me a lot harder than when, in a fit of desperation, I applied for a health care credit card and that was denied.

Everyone has cell phones. This is America, for goodness sake.

I used to get my annual credit check ever August, but forgot to last year. Concerned about what horrible black marks scarred my not-so-precious credit score, I did some investigating.

And found nothing new. Besides the fact that Compass bank checks my score every week or so.

I took a closer look at familiar information. Remember when I mentioned that my student loans were sold to another company in 2006? Well, that shows up under "potentially negative" on my report.

Four Times.

The details of the loan are straight forward, listing the loan as "paid," rather than, say, "abandoned," or even "sold behind the debtors back." Still, my "paid" loans are registering as "potentially negative" for every year that I was paying them. Same account number, same info, different dates.

Naturally I disputed the second, third, and fourth year of "potentially negative" financial tomfoolery. If I didn't maintain a blog based on my hatred of the credit industry, I could feign surprise. But...yeah. Credit scores are still arbitrary and dumb and damaging.

With my luck, even if I get the excess loan payments removed from my record, I'll have another black mark when the more recent sale of my loan is reported. And then another thumbs-down when I actually pay off my loan next year.

Because the credit industry makes that much sense.

Monthly Tabulation Review

Although I entered my February spending into a spreadsheet last week, it took me until today to find out how many hours I devoted to each area.

Rent: 72

Debt: 13

Food: 8

Work Expenses: 2

Lazy Spending: 6

Transportation: 3

Hygiene: 1

Office Supplies: 2

Entertainment: 1

Health: 1

I spent more time/money in February than January in almost every single area, except for those which I spent no money in, like school supplies. "Lazy Spending" is a particular painful area: we paid a lot of money in late fees because we forgot to return a video several months ago and for some reason I just couldn't drag myself to the library to return some books. I am perfectly aware that this is dumb and ridiculous and I spent an entire day's work paying for it.

Good Party, Wild Trip

On Saturday Darling and I went on our longest ride yet, totaling twenty miles between a trip to see our amazing Godson and then heading twelve miles outside of town to a friend's party. We didn't actually realize we'd be leaving Austin city limits before the trip, or that we'd be braving country roads in the dark, and I definitely wanted to turn back before we were even halfway there. Darling pushed me onward and we had a great time. We saw lots of deer and the stars were amazing and at the party there was amazing creole vegetarian food and lots of really good wine and really cool people who thought we were cool because we risked our lives to get to their party.

We crashed at their house and slept for about three and a half hours before hopping back on our bikes towards the nearest bus stop. Thankfully there was one not all that far away, because my knees were seriously threatening to give out. The sun was still rising, though, and it was really nice to be with my husband in the frosty cold.

Back at the house Darling crashed while I took a shower, changed, and headed to work. Because I was dumb enough to go to a party five miles outside of town on a bicycle, drink for six hours, take a glorified nap, and then work a Sunday brunch shift. It was probably the ideal brunch shift, too, but I was too busy experiencing a hangover coming and going to really appreciate it. After work Darling was still in bed. He's been riding his bike more than ever, but not close to the rate and regularity as me, so the ride tore him up a bit worse. Plus he's older and hangovers hit him much harder. I passed out beside him and we didn't wake up until soon after the sun went down.

I woke up stiff and dehydrated, not hungry but wanting something horribly fattening and non-vegan: cheese enchiladas from El Mercado or a jalapeño veggie cheeseburger from Magnolia Cafe. Once again Darling put his foot down and sautéed a huge pile of greens with onion and garlic and steamed a head of broccoli and lots of kale. He had his with pasta and I begrudgingly wrapped mine in a large wheat tortilla. Grumpy though I was, the veggies were amazingly restorative. My pounding headache cleared and we spent the rest of the evening relaxing with some DVDs.

This morning I had to be firm with Darling in encouraging him to get up and go to his volunteer job despite his lingering soreness. I made him an egg sandwich with our wonderful garden spinach and poured his coffee, then climbed right back into bed when he was out the door :)

Our wild weekend cost us a little under eight dollars, which includes batteries for my bike light and bus tickets home. Today I work a shift at the coffee shop and then spend the rest of the day with my Mom, which will hopefully be as affordable.

Go Outside

Today I woke up to rainy gray weather and imagined a day spent baking, drinking tea, and writing.

Hours later I step outside to nip a bit of spinach, and am faced with the most gorgeous weather this side of spring.

Fortunately Aldra wrote a blog post too good to top, so everyone foolish enough to be reading The Challenge and not Consciously Frugal should go praise her to the high Heavens.

And then go outside.

How I SPENT My Day Off

I've never been able to bother with Quicken or other computer technology when it comes to tracking my money. Frankly, dragging out my planner and noting the money I earn every day (as a waitress I walk home with tips), along with how many hours I worked and what I spend every penny on is a big enough pain in the butt without entering it into a computer at the end of the night. My scribbles are fast and easy and require only a couple of hours once a month to arrange into categories of focus. I keep a record on a spreadsheet saved as a google doc I can access wherever and whenever the mood strikes.

Tracing through these notes in my planner is a nostalgic game. How quickly I forgot my last coffee date with Raja before Oblio was born, how fleeting was that shared fifth of Jameson! At the same time it's a good feeling flipping through the no-spend days, and I want more of those.

My focus right now is not to suppress my spending, but to streamline it. No more popping into shops out of boredom or on my way to or from work. If I need to make a purchase, I'm going to make a day of it and get as much spending out of the way as efficiently as possible.

With that in mind, today was my first Big Spend Day. I wrote a list of things to spend money on days in advance. I started out making the executive decision to go ahead and pay my student loan company $650. My intention has been to pay $162.50 every week until next April, at which point I will be totally debt free, but a change in loan services put a major damper on my aspirations since I was only able to make one of four transfers. Because I am habitually an all-or-nothing person, I really needed to not drop the ball on that. So, with the help of my tax refund, I was able to catch up with the added benefit of letting my new student loan company know who's boss. I transferred the majority of my tax refund into an interest bearing on-line account and hope it stays there for a goodly long while.

In the spirit of attacking debt I also wrote out a $200 check to my bother Ob. He loaned us a thousand dollars a couple of years ago during our immigration crisis and although we paid the first $800 in immediate, regular intervals, giving him that last installment took over a year. It's such a relief to have that done with.

Having played with the really big money, I headed towards St. Vincents on South Congress, stopping at South Austin Soap on the way to pick up shampoo and conditioner, which cost me $15.16. At my favorite charity shop I tried on every single pair of size eight jeans they had and three shirts, buying six of the former and one of the latter. I now have seven pairs of jeans that fit me, far more than I've ever owned at one point in a very long time. In the coming days I hope to do an honest and serious inventory of my shirts and sweaters and see where I'm at with that. The six pairs of jeans and one shirt also cost me $15.16, which is something to think on.

On my way home from St. Vincents, I bought a bottle of local peach cider for $3.50. An expensive indulgence, true, but what I really wanted was a $10 slice of pizza and soda. The cider was a pleasant alternative which tided me over until I made a salad at the house with garden carrots and spinach.

Darling and I enjoyed our late lunch of salad and he headed to his eye appointment, where he had an eye exam and ordered a new pair of glasses for $160.

This is an exhausting amount of spending, even though the majority was done from my bed with the help of my computer and check book. The only purchase that could have been reasonably avoided was that peach juice, which at $3.50 I can't bring myself to regret. A lot of todays spending was the result of finally mustering the energy and reserves to attack items that have been lingering on lists for weeks, months, and years. And, quite amazingly, we can afford it.

Still, having parted with over $1000 on this, the 4th of the month, I'm suffering serious wallet fatigue. I look forward to spending the rest of the week counting the money on its way in rather than out.

March 2011 Net Worth

One of the first things you learn with consistent budgeting is that there is no such things as a "normal" month. Every four weeks or so something is bound to go wrong with a large and necessary appliance which will need immediate and expensive repair, you will require some sort of medical attention or at least a day or two off work, or some holiday, birthday, or semi-annual bill will roll round to empty the bank account.

That's why February was so weird for me: it was a normal month.

My Godson was born, but that didn't cost me more than the two dollar bus ticket to go see him. My loan was sold to another service company, which did throw me off my regular payment schedule. And - oh yes - I finally paid my late fees at the library and Vulcan Video, which came to A LOT. I quit one of my cleaning jobs because I can only juggle so many bosses. But that'll probably hit March's net worth. Ultimately February was just...well, as could be expected.

My assets dropped by an entire $4.02, which I can honestly live with. I've got $2,911.93 to call assets until I pay rent.

My debt dropped $112.13 to $11,156.86. I was really hoping and expecting to see a much larger drop, but I couldn't make a payment during the debt transition period. Well, I could have mailed cash into the ether, but didn't.

This brings my net worth to -$8244.95, which is one of the most beautiful numbers I have ever seen. In the next week I'll be getting a tax refund which will become a much-needed emergency fund, pay off some small clingy personal debt, and pump my net worth up to an amount I never imagined. My goal is to hold onto my jobs and work like crazy despite this good fortune, I'd really like to catch up on my incredibly ambitious debt servicing plan of $650 a month.